Newsflash!! Morons Stay Up All Night Waiting in Line for a Fucking Phone

Earth

September 21, 2012

Pictured: morons. Source: brg.com

                               One day in the future, some high school textbook will have a chapter describing our time labeled "The Fall of Western Civilization". On the front page, they'll show a picture of  a bunch of morons waiting in line all night to buy a fucking phone.
                               I'm not anti-capitalist or anti-consumerist or anti-Apple, but I'm proud to say that people who care this much about the release of a stupid phone are fucking nuts. Its very rare that I get to take the moral highground on, well, anything, but in this situation... what a bunch of dumbasses. Nothing is worth doing this... nothing. I may care to expand on the intracacies of historical information about a specific and obscure piece of construction, but I don't care about ANYTHING this much. If a store was selling Willis G. Hale's bones for $5 each, I would still at least wait until after I got home from work to go buy one.
                             By the way, that picture above is not from this morning or yesterday, its from THREE DAYS AGO. Those fucks are still in line as of this writing. You have nothing fucking better to do than wait in a line for three days? FOR A PHONE!?!?!??! Go to hell.

And the band played on...

                     Remember that time Mayor Street waited in line for a phone on city time? That corrupt bastard had the gall to make a bunch of shitty excuses trying to justify it... I remember some newscaster interviewing him live while he was on line, saying something to the effect of "Are you fucking insane?!?!?!?"



Pictured: a really, really shitty mayor (and asshole). Source: Mirror on America blog

               People don't just do this shit about phones.. they do it for sneakers, video games, dvd releases.. all kinds of shit. I very rarely get to tell people this, so let me indulge:

GET A FUCKING LIFE!!!