Butt-Fugly Building of the Week-- April 5th

YWCA Metropolitan Branch Annex

2021 Chestnut Street

Jesus fuck!! That's horrible!!

                  What a fucking pile of junk... further proof that 1950's architecture in this city continues to be the most useless. Before this building gets demolished (soon), it needs to be called out for the butt fugly pile of dogshit that it is. Don't let the blighted nature of the building fool you... it never looked good.
                   Post-WWII Philadelphia was a pretty depressing place... especially in Center City. The beautiful old Victorian structures were dirty and falling apart. The 1920's and 30's boom buildings were outdated. The population was in a continuous migration to the Northeast and the suburbs.
                   Then, all of a sudden, three new institutional buildings came all at once, The Sidney Hillman Medical Center, the Mercantile Library, and this, the YWCA Annex. The three were considered a triumvirate that signaled a new age of urban design that would change things forever. Well, time has proven that these buildings have failed. The Sidney Hillman is now demolished (whoopie!), the Mercantile Library has been vacant for 23 years (but will be renovated by a fan of this crappy style), and the YWCA Annex is about to be demolished.
                   It began in 1949. The YWCA had not seen new construction since 1916. The building they were using on the 2000 block of Chestnut Street was built in 1923 as the Stephen Girard Hotel and it was a pretty crappy facility. The new and modern addition to the old hotel was to be a prototype for a new kind of YWCA, offering activities and services that none other had before. The first architect commissioned was the firm of Sydney Martin. They came up with a design that would be a modern version of the old hotel building.

Makes sense, right?

                         The YWCA motherfuckers were like, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! It looks too much like the old hotel!!!! Fuck youuuuuuu!!!!!!!!" and fired the fuck out of the Martin firm. They then went to the firm of Howell Lewis Shay. Those motherfuckers came up with a design that was thought, at the time, to be the height of urban institutional architecture.

Seriously, it was.

                       The long row of windows was thought to be some kind of magical connection between the building and the street. The stone-clad rectangle window facade toward the top was thought to be a revolutionary design. The YWCA started fundraising for the place in 1950 and was able to break ground in June, 1953. The cost of the building would be $750,000, $9.65 million in today's monies. Once complete in 1954, it was a big fucking deal. The place offered a swimming pool, chapel, women's dormitories, classrooms, courtyards, roofdeck, laundry rooms, and sewing rooms. The ribbon was cut in the swimming pool by a woman diving into it.
                        The building would stay in continuous use for the next 36 years. On August 31st, 1990, the Mid-City YWCA shut its doors, never to be opened again. The piece of shit became the property of the Redevelopment Authority in 1993 and just sat there.

The building in 1991 or 92. Empty but not yet boarded-up.

                      The Girard Hotel would get re-occupied in 1999 by Friere Charter School. The Annex, however, would just sit. And sit. And sit. Eventually, the building's entrance was boarded up, but it was too late. The broken windows allowed birds and weather in. What was originally just a butt-fugly building became a butt-fugly rat, roach, pigeon, and squatter nest. The place actually started to stink from the outside.
                      Once the 2000's progressed, the neighborhood surrounding the building was seeing a resurgence. The YWCA Annex became the most blighted piece of shit on the block and one of the most blighted places in Center City. Check out a photo gallery the Inquirer did of the interior here. Finally, this last December, Aquinas Realty Partners was authorized to purchase the building. They plan to FINALLY demolish the stupid-ass Annex and build a 12 story apartment building with over 100 apartments, retail space, and extra space for Friere Charter School.

From their website.

                   The design is by architect Michael Ytterberg (it must be fun to have to explain how to spell that name 50 times a day) and seems just fine for the area. In February, the Planning Commission shot some NIMBY missiles across Aquinas's bow, complaining about the facade materials to be used. However, they made up for it by being cool with it having no parking garage and for asking that it be taller than the originally planned eight stories. Aquinas should be able to get demolishin' later this year.
                  The loss of the crappy YWCA Annex and the crappier Sidney Hillman Medical Center is the proof that this new urbanism that was all the rage in the 1950's is a complete and utter failure. Sadly, it took 60 years for these shitbird buildings to be replaced, but at least its finally happening. Too bad the Mercantile Library couldn't join them so that all three of these architectural mistakes could be eradicated from memory.

Lost Mystery Building of the Week-- April 4th

Herkness Bazaar

129 South Ninth Street

9th and Sansom, 1848. Image from the PAB.

                     This is one of those buildings that stood for so long that when it was demolished, no one could remember when it was built. Even early Philaphiles were stymied as to the origin of this beast. It was the first ever Mystery Building.
                     Most records would have you believe that this funny circular building was put up in 1847. This is wrong. This round piece of ruckus was constructed in a completely unknown time. The first records about it indicate that it was a three-story Cyclorama of biblical Jerusalem. Cycloramas told stories in an artificially-built environments that would immerse the audience. Basically, it was a reverse theatre in the round where the audience would sit or stand in the middle and the stage was in every direction, made to look as much as possible like the real thing. If you want to see one in person, check out the recently restored Cyclorama at Gettysburg.
                     A circular building of equal size, the Fifth Baptist Church (aka Dr. Stoughton's Church), stood next door to the old Cyclorama. Years after it was demolished, people thought that the church and the Cyclorama were the same building. Some historical records will even tell you this, but its bullshit.

Who thought it was a good idea to build two equally-sized circular buildings next to each other?

                      In 1847, auctioneer Alfred Herkness purchased the building and converted it into an auction house for cattle, sheep, horses, carriages, farm equipment, and various other items. It became a famous landmark for the city... and being right behind the Walnut Street Theatre didn't hurt. The business was hugely successful-- ads for it appeared in newspapers all over the country. Herkness' son took over the business after he died and was able to keep it going all the way into 1913. The building was finally demolished in 1915.

This might be a photo of it being demolished. Pic from the PAB.

                          When being demolished, GroJLart of the Gilded Age Frank Hamilton Taylor attempted to find out the history of the building. He was the one who crushed the myth that the Bazaar building was the same as the Fifth Baptist Church- and he was able to do it without the internet! His exact words were:


"This bazaar is supposed by many persons to have been the old Baptist building, erected in 1812 and long popular as "Dr. Stoughton's church," which was also a rotunda in form. There is conclusive evidence, however, to show that the latter stucture was situated in the middle of the block, upon Sansom Street below Ninth Street."

                    Tell 'em, FrankJLart. However, he was unable to figure out where the fuck this building came from. Check out his conjectural-ass illustration of it here. Was it built to be the Jerusalem Cyclorama or was it built for another purpose? Another Jerusalem Cyclorama was built at Broad and Cherry Streets in 1888, but only stood for a short time. This may be a situation where the information pertaining to the creation of this building may be COMPLETELY LOST. No architect, no construction date, no confirmed building usage until 1847, nothing!!!

AND THE ANSWAH IS...

                          Hello, this is John McLaughlin and you ahh now reading this in my voice. The building that housed the Huuhkness Bazaar was built in 1840 as an exhibition space for panoramas.  It was originally called "The Coliseum."  It opened in Sept, 1840, and the panoramas of Jerusalem and Thebes were the fuhhrst to be displayed.  In 1845, it was puhhchased by George Carter & Co. Auctioneers, renamed "The Coliseum Bazaar," and used fah horse and carriage auctions. BYE BYE!!!

*Thanks to Mike Seneca from the PAB!!!

Empty Lot of the Week-- April 3rd

15th Street Desert

Northeast corner of 15th and South Streets

Awful.

                                This lot has no damn excuse to exist. The other horrible empty lots near it are result of a shitty situation, but this asphalt asshole just a development desert. Its the worst kind-- a combination of adjacent empty lots that come together to be one humongous sea of horseshit. Though once a lively and populated area, it hasn't seen construction in a loooong time.
                              Read more at the Philadelphia Citypaper's Naked City Blog!

Old-Ass Building of the Week-- April 2nd

Benevolent and Paternal Order of Elks Philadelphia Lodge Number Two

1320 Arch Street

                          If Philadelphia buildings were contestants in a season of Survivor, this building would make it to the final Tribal Council. Built to compliment one of the city's finest neighborhoods, it ended up spending most of its life surrounded by blight. While literally everything around it has met the wrecking ball, this beast has managed to outwit, outplay and outlast all of its competition.
                          Read more on Hidden City Philadelphia!!!

Butt-Fugly Public Art of the Week-- March 29th

Open Air Aquarium by Magdalena Abakanowicz

Pier 30 (Kenilworth Street Pier, 717 South Columbus Boulevard)

Oh, that's where I put my silver turds! Image from philart.net

                          This is yet another case where Philadelphia's only piece by an otherwise very strong artist has to be a pathetic piece of rhinoceros shit. Or in this case, pieces. This is also yet another case where the Percent-for-Fart program forced a developers hand, resulting in a crappy and shoehorned-in piece of shit. I've already made it clear on this blog that the Residences at Dockside building is a Crudulous pile of Donkey Testicles. As bad as the building is, I still don't think it looks worse than the crappy art that was forced to be installed in front of it.
                          Open Air Aquarium consists of 30 stainless steel fish-like shapes on poles 12 feet off the ground in two plazas. Each fish weighs between 125 and 150 pounds and are between 6 and 8 feet long. The forms are abstract and have fucked up edges. They look like if God's silver shit fell from the sky and stopped in mid-air. It would look nicer if the sculptures actually looked like fish. It would be cornier, but not nearly as horrendous looking. 
                        This arrangement of scrap metal began when the shitty Dockside building was first proposed. The developer, Peter DePaul and the DePaul Group, was fighting to build Dockside by Piers 9 and 11 (now Race Street Pier). A firestorm of local residents and politicians forced it down to the much shittier location it ended up in, pissing off the developer. Then, once the move was confirmed, OTHER local residents and politicians forced changes in the design. As a compromise, DePaul set the building further back on Fuckface Pier and then created a small public park space in front. DePaul then assumed that the park was enough to satisfy the Percent-for-Shit requirement.
                       Construction began and the Redevelopment Authority started asking about public art. The park would not qualify and DePaul would have to drop an extra $500,000 on some government-mandated piece of fuck. After being bullied into moving their (ugly) building down to Pier 30 AND being forced to change their design once it got there, the DePaul Group had enough of this shit. They said, "Fuck the Percent-for-Art program", and attempted to be the largest project ever to be exempt since the requirement's start in 1959.
                       Since they had already started construction, it was too late to apply for an exemption. DePaul basically just said, "Fuck y'all" and went about their business with the assumption that they just wouldn't deal with it further. In the meantime, the RDA had already commissioned famous Polish artist Magdelena Abakanowicz to create those ugly ass fish you see in the picture above. Once word got out that DePaul was going to forego the Percent-for-Fart shit, backlash started coming from all sides.. especially since they accepted $6 million of government funds to reinforce the pier.
                        As usual, the press blew it out of proportion and implied that the Percent-for-Art program would end forever if DePaul got his way. Petitions swirled all over the city and internet claiming a "Percent-for-Art Crisis!!!" Mayor Street and Councilman DiCicco got their dirty asses involved, but DePaul stood strong, like he was the Rosa Parks of developers who've had enough of the bullshit. Eventually, city Commerce Director James J. Cuorato somehow convinced them to put the silvery shitfish up. The sculptures were installed in May, 2003.

Yay, fish... sorta.

                              Once installed, everyone went apeshit over them, especially because a somewhat famous artist was involved. After all, Abakanowicz's other work around the world is great. Most people just pretended that this piece was just as good as her other stuff. Even Peter DePaul pretended that he liked Open Air Aquarium. After a couple of years went by, everyone just got used to them, sort of like when you get used to an old empty lot or abandoned building. You hate that its there, but you've come to accept it.
                             Then, a hero came. In November 2005, one of the shitfish went missing! Someone had actually stolen one and sold it for scrap. Many assumed it was just a desperate thief, but I think it was a person who hated the sculptures so much that they went into a fit of rage and tried to take them down one by one, but gave up after dumping the first one into the river. To bad they couldn't finish the job. 
                            Don't get me wrong here folks... I love the Percent-for-Art requirement. The thing is, developers have a hard enough time trying to get shit built in this city. If the requirement gets to a point where the developer's bottom line gets threatened, it will discourage others to build. The Percent-for-Art requirement has brought a lot of wonderful things to this city, so it should stay alive, but I'm just saying: Let's not overdo it. Also, elephant scrotum.

Parking Garage of the Week-- March 28th

Central Parking of Philadelphia- 12th and Sansom Garage

123 South 12th Street

Blecchh

                     This garage right here is a grabasstic piece of horsetrash. What a useless pile of shit. Even though this garage is one of many in a neighborhood of much larger parking behemoths, it has a way of annoying the fuck out of anyone walking down 12th or Sansom Streets.
                       The address this 600-car-parking motherfucker lives on was once the site of the Borie Mansion, a large and fanciful house that was somewhat famous in its own time, but not famous enough that someone would take a good picture of it. You can only find views of it in the background of pictures of the S.S. White Building.

The Borie Mansion as seen from 12th and Chestnut.

                          The Borie Mansion was demolished around 1922 to create one of the city's earliest surface parking lots. It was pretty small, since the house next door still stood, but by the mid 1940's, had grown to about half the size the garage is now.

This photo is labeled as 1940 but I think its from 1949. The Surface Lot that would become the garage is on far left.

                         Its not clear when exactly the garage was built, but the front portion of it was put up some time between 1949 and 1959.

You can see the garage on the middle right here in 1959.

                      On June 20, 1978, the 12th and Sansom garage was sold for $1 to  Samuel Rappaport. This Rappaport guy was the king of the many 20th Century Center City Slumlords. At one point, he owned more properties in Center City than anyone else. This shitbird would buy properties cheap, sit on them, make small improvements, then sell them off for exorbitant prices. He was responsible for the blightiest times for Center City and also caused some of the NIMBYism we experience today. His death in 1994 was directly responsible for much of Center City East's renaissance.
                   The Twelfth and Sansom garage is one of the many shitty properties that still list him as an owner. Today, its managed by Central Parking Systems and has an Enterprise Rent-a-Car storefront location in it. The rear half of the garage is an addition, but there seems to be no record of when it was built. This ugly pile of trash is a like a Great Wall of Sphincters along the 1100 block of Sansom Street and is the ugliest thing on the 100 block of South 12th Street. Its even worse than the gigantic Parkway Corp garage across the street and that's saying something.
                  In the tax records, the owner is listed as Rappaport but the address given for the owner is LGI Energy Solutions of Wayzata, Minnesota. Why the fuck does a shitty little energy company in Minnesota own a parking garage in Philadelphia? The lot is zoned C5, so a two-story parking garage is a massive under-utilization of the space. Any rich developers reading this? Someone needs to buy up this thing and put it out of its misery in favor of a new building with an underground garage that has just as many spaces. Get Tony Goldman on the phone. He made 13th Street out of some of Rappaport's other remains, maybe he can help here.
                 Oh well.. we're just gonna have to live with this thing for awhile. The facade appears to be recently repainted but it still makes a long-ass boring wall down Sansom Street. Hopefully, someone in my lifetime will have the guts to wipe this motherfucker out.

Here's the Sansom Street wall. The Midtown II blocks it from crashing into Kling's crappy-ass Foederer Pavilion or whatever the fuck its called.

Dead-Ass Proposal of the Week-- March 27th

Enterprise Heights

The 4600 block of Market Street

Didn't happen.

                        This would have been a pretty badass development if it ever got its ass off the ground. This complex of buildings could have renewed energy in an extremely sorry area of the city, but it just never happened. To be fair, an extremely down-scaled version of this might actually be built, so not all hope is lost.
                         Read more at the Philadelphia Citypaper's Naked City Blog!