Everyone thinks they're an expert on food and restaurants-- I blame the Food Network just like I blame HGTV for making everyone think they're a house flipper. Yelp made things worse by making people think that anyone gives a fuck about what individual shitbirds think about a certain establishment and caused this bullshit I see where people whip out their phones to take a picture as soon as food is placed in front of them. Nonetheless, I'll present to you the ones I like while also admitting that I am not a culinary expert nor claim to know what its like to run a restaurant or bar.
I should preface this by telling you that I go through stages where I go to the same place over and over again, get tired of it, and then move on to another spot to go over and over again. Therefore, some of these places are spots I like to go to now and some of them are places I used to go to once a week and have moved on from, but still like a lot.
I have placed them into categories I totally made up on the spot but think are appropriate for organizational purposes:
Friday Nighters: Places I've gone to over and over again on Friday nights for months at a time.
Gennaro's Tomato Pie, 1429 Jackson St:
This place is the motherfucking bizzomb!! They've been around since like 1916 and offer super-crispy tomato pies on a super-thin crust. It almost seems like this is the place Nomad Roman and some others like it are trying to be. The service is awesome, the atmosphere is great, it doesn't get too crowded, and its a BYOB!! I can't say enough good shit about Gennaro's. I almost don't want to tell you about it in the fear that it might start getting too popular. Nonetheless, they definitely get the GroJLart Seal of Approval, for whatever that's worth.
Cheu Noodle Bar, 255 South 10th St:
You probably all know about Cheu already, but in case you don't, this is where you can get some good-ass ramen dishes that are made in unique and interesting varieties. Its not for people who are hardcore traditional ramen believers, but for folks who want to taste something good. The place is small as fuck, but that's part of the reason I like it. Sit at the bar and watch them make your meal. They change the menu constantly so even if you get tired of their current menu you know it will be changing soon (of course this can backfire if you really like something and they change it too much). Friendly and personal service-- after you go there a few times they will definitely remember you. Places always remember me because I'm a weirdo but they remember normal folks too from what I understand.
Franky Bradley's, 1320 Chancellor St:
This is probably the newest place on this list but its probably the one of the best. Franky Bradley's is the modern version of a classic Philly steak house of the same name that was in the same location! The food combos on the menu seem like they were arranged by an insane person but when you try them, they knock your fucking socks off! I'm pretty sure there's a hole in their wall somewhere from when my actual socks blew off at terminal velocity from tasting one of their appetizers.
Breakfast/Second Breakfast: Where to get that awesome meal in the morning-- or second breakfast, where to get kick-ass breakfast items in the afternoon.
Dutch Eating Place, Reading Terminal Market:
HOLY CRAP!! Hands down the best breakfast I know about anywhere at any time. I've been going to this place on and off for at least five years and I still haven't gotten past the pancakes. Maybe their other items on the menu are horrible, but I'll probably never know. At the Dutch Eating Place, you get super-huge pancakes along with a piece of sausage the size of your head and a pat of butter that you could pick up with both hands. Real maple syrup, kick-ass super-friendly fast service, and all for a very very insanely low price!
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| Excellent. Image by Monavano at DonRockwell.com |
Its a diner, its a bar, its a lounge, its an everything. Again, can't get past the pancakes, which they call Silk Cakes. These motherfuckers are malted pancake batter with a pre-installed slice of bacon!! Don't want to wait forever? Go there for a Second Breakfast in the afternoon.
Honorable Mention:
Honey's Sit N' Eat Numerous Locations:
Another good spot for a Second Breakfast since nowhere is worth waiting an hour in the morning. Pretty decent prices, great service, good food. Whole Wheat Pancakes.
Let's Get Drunk: Places to get your drink on and have a good time. I find that people get very particular about the type of venue they get wasted in so this is the list that will probably create the most ire out there.
McGlinchey's 259 South 15th Street:
I like this place so much that I went nuts researching its long history and interviewing its owner. This was my first Philly bar and will probably be my last. I quit smoking again this last Thanksgiving so I haven't been there in awhile, but the place is great-- cheap beers up to and including Yeungling Porter on draft, the graffiti in the bathroom, the massive variety of characters drinking together-- it can't be beat.
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| It's daytime in this picture, I swear! Pic by Brad Maule |
This place is a great non-smoking alternative to McGlinchey's-- they even have the same booths! Not only can you get some tall-ass draft beers here for a good price, the servers remember you even when you haven't been there in a year AND the cheesefries are fucking awesome!! There was one time when I sat next to the chef on the Broad Street Line and beamed with pride for being in his deep fried presence. Back in the day they used to have a DJ in on Friday nights-- the guy was so good that I hired him for my wedding!
Bar-Ly 101 North 11th Street:
Do you like to get drunk and then eat some fattening-ass foods? This is the place for you. Sixty beers on tap, including the entire line up of Six Point beers. Once you're drunk enough, there's a massive assortment on the menu, from cheeseburgers to sushi. Its also a huge sports bar with TV's everywhere if you're into that sort of thing. They claim to be the largest sports bar in Chinatown but since the largest actual restaurant space in the whole city (Public House) is a block away that doesn't seem to matter much. The best part about this place is going to the bathroom-- its located down a long hallway and seems to be shared with the HSBC Bank branch on the same floor.
Bongo Bar and Deck 401 South Columbus Avenue (Deck of the Moshulu):
I discovered this place while hanging out at the Spruce Street Harbor Park last summer-- I wish I knew about it before!! This is a bar on the deck of the Moshulu where you can get drunk while sitting among the fake masts/lines/yard arms that were added to the ship in 1970 to make it look old-timey. Not only are the beers cheap as fuck compared to everywhere else around, you can smoke cigarettes on the outdoor part of the deck! Its also a great spot to watch the Penn's Landing fireworks on the 4th of July. This is one of those spots that tourists and out-of-towners know more about than actual Philadelphians, so you can often meet people there from parts unknown.
Honorable Mention:
Frankford Hall 1210 Frankford Ave:
A great spot for larger groups and great beers. I love how you can get drafts in a big-ass glass-- keeps you from going back and forth for beers constantly. I also quite enjoy going there for Urban Geek Drinks-- as I am Urban, a Geek, and I DRINK! In fact, I'm going to the one tonight! See you there! The food is pretty good too!
Gastro-explosions: Places where I can't stop eating and/or drinking for one reason or another
Dock Street Brewing Company 701 South 50th St:
Despite its extremely misleading name, this place is located at the corner of 50th and Baltimore Avenue in West Philly. They've got their own awesome beers they make on site and offer a vast array of great food items. The Flammenkuche Pizza was my first favorite that I would get every time I was there until I had the Vegan Pesto Wrap and now I can't get enough of that one. They have these great panko-crusted mozz sticks that I call Mozzarella Pods and plenty of other great shit. I've been going there for at least 7 years and they are good at handling large groups as well.
Tashan 777 South Broad St:
This is one of those places where even when the service is shit and you feel stupid for coming back, you forgive them the moment the food is placed in front of you. Seriously, I need to get away from this place. I like it so much that I wish it never existed. I first went there about the same week it opened and remember how silly it was when they'd give a big group the menu on a single iPad that we all had to pass around (they don't do that crap anymore) and how crazy the bathroom looked-- I just want to take a piss, not have a life-changing experience! The next few times I went the service was inconsistent and sometimes downright bad... but the food... that Old Delhi Butter Chicken should be illegal in like 17 states. That shit is fucking crack, I tell ya!!
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| Best crack I ever ate. Image by John of the Belly of the Pig food blog. |
Supper 926 South St:
A little pricier than I like but the food is outstanding. They serve a burger bigger than your mom's ass and who knew that duck and waffles went together? Genius! Great service too.
Brauhaus Schmitz 718 South St:
Get the Schweinshaxe and you'll understand.
Snack Attack: For those random moments when you want a bite of something good.
Cake and the Beanstalk 1112 Locust St:
Chocolate Chip Cookie Ice Cream Sandwich-- that's all I have to say. It'll change your goddamn life for only 5 bucks.
Miller's Twist Reading Terminal Market:
I don't even fucking like pretzels! Nonetheless, the pretzels from Miller's Twist at the Terminal are ungoddamnbelievable. Don't believe me? Try 'em! You won't be disappointed... and if you are, fuck you.
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| I love you Miller, whoever you are. Image from Tripadvisor.com |
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